December 5, 2007…my day that lives in infamy. I will never, as long as I live, forget the day that shook my world and changed our lives forever. Four years ago today, we woke up in bed next to our precious son…he stretched his little arms out and gave us a smile…almost to say “good morning, I love you Mommy & Daddy.” Little did we know only a few hours later, we’d be attempting to revive life into our tiny boy.
Everything, literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, changed that day. My son died. With my son part of me died too. A part of me that can never come back, a hole in my soul which will only be filled on the day we are reunited at Jesus’ side.
God has given me freedom over life-debilitating sorrow, He has bound my wounds so that my soul is not bleeding out. He has given me the ability to love and live again…without fear. Even though I have healing, it doesn’t mean that I still don’t feel the scars and remember why they are there. I believe that when we suffer tragedies in our lives, we need to feel it. We need to accept that it’s real, we need to have permission to grieve, and grieve freely, and then one day, there comes a crossroads at which we must decide how to move forward with the life we’ve been given. These events in our lives can influence how we are, but they should never define who we are.
I love you Marshall William Brown. I miss you every minute of the day.
It is well with my soul.
