This Sunday was a pretty typical. We woke up, I made everyone egg sandwiches, Phil left for church, I put on some laundry, and then Analie and I plopped down for some Dora. After we dressed and put all her babies down for a nap (there are 4 specific ones), Analie and I got dressed and headed out the door to church – 10 minutes early to be exact – and with a 2 ½ year old, that’s a fete of nature in itself! We arrived; I took Analie to her class, went upstairs to greet Phil and then I headed to service. I was chatting in the hallway with a friend, when the door opened to the Divorce Care room and a flood of people started coming out. Much to my surprise, out walked a lady with whom I have only recently come to know as an acquaintance. I was shocked to see her, first at church and second coming from Divorce Care. Trust me, I wasn’t judging anyone – I was just surprised to see her, but glad. I knew she had only been married a short while and when we greeted each other I could see the shock, pain, embarrassment in her face.
My relationship with her started out quite odd actually. We were working together planning a wedding shower for a mutual friend. It’s no secret, I like things perfect, and by perfect, I somehow think that’s “my way” – she is also that way, and therefore there were some clashing of the titans. We don’t have anything in common except our friend; honestly, I didn’t “click” with her or like her too much when we met. To me, she came off aggressive, angry, and entitled. We’ve only ever talked “business” and never much about our personal lives or ourselves until one day a few months back she had to drop some things off at my house for the shower. I was thinking it would be a 5 minute thing – she would ring the bell, drop off the stuff, and then bolt. Fine with me, but it wasn’t like that. She came in and at first we only talked “business”, but then we started talking about shoes. Mmmmmm…..shoes….my Achilles’ heel. We discovered we both had a love of shoes – an appreciation for the art perfectly crafted fine looking footwear. I have never been giddier of talking shoes with someone in my life. She got it – boots, wedges, sling backs, ballet flats, Farragamo, Louboutin!
After the shower, we didn’t talk much. Life goes on, you know, until a few months back I ran into her at church. I said hello, asked how she had been, and she said it was her first Sunday at New Hope. I was excited, but didn’t think much of it, and we both went on. Fast forward to yesterday. I approached her with anticipation as she came out of the room and gave her a hug. I got the impression she’s not the hugging type, and I am, so I apologized for hugging her and she responded “sometime people need hugs,” so I hugged her again sensing she was really down. It sparked a conversation, nothing about her struggles, but just about life. We traded numbers and went our separate ways. As I was sitting in service, I felt horrible. All these months before I had ignored her and avoided her because of my judgment that she was rude, and I started to realize and remember that we never know what a person is going through. I, of all people, should understand that, and I had a sense of failure for forgetting the lessons God has taught me through my suffering. For all I know, she could have been unhappy about planning a shower, when her own marriage was struggling. For all I know, she could love God just as much as I do, but was feeling disconnected from Him. For all I know, I know nothing! I am just a girl, who will mess up, and my encounter with this girl was a great reminder to me of the grace I have been given and that God has loved me even in my messes, and therefore I should do the same for others. It’s my prayer that I will hear from her, or that we will build a greater friendship, not because I think I can solve her problems, but because "sometimes people just need hugs."
