My rut & the sheep

Lately I have been in a funk, a rut, a place that I'm neither over joyous or severely depressed, just stuck somewhere in the middle.  I attribute my funk to numerous things: winter, daylight savings time, winter, cold, no outside time, transition in life, the unknown, houses, oh lordy houses, winter :) I've been trying really hard to identify why I'm feeling the way I am so I can build and bridge and get over it already - with some recent sunshine, I think I've found the prescription to get out of it!

My grandparents (also our neighbors) have 4 sheep we help tend to, we call them the "girls".  We enjoy it, our daughter enjoys it; she's earning her certification in countryfication, while at the same time my husband earns his man card for handling the "livestock".  I just generally watch from the fenceline and let the pros handle things.  Sometimes I'll turn on the water and fill the bucket just to validate my wearing of polka-dot rubber boots.  One evening everyone was gone and it was my duty to pen up the sheep.  I'd seen them do it, but never alone have I handled such brooding livestock.  It was cold this night; I mean like frigidly freaking cold and really really dark!  I had just come home from work in my "designer black" Tuesday attire (more on that another time) but I just pulled on my boots over my trousers.  I thought it would be easy, shouldn't take too long but whew those "girls" gave me a rough time.  Typically we call them, bang the feed bucket against the fence a few times and they come running, but on this particular night, they were not listening!  I called, and called but they would not budge.  It's freezing, I'm cold, it's dark, and they are being stubborn!  Finally I walk out to the pasture where they are, mud slopping all over my "designer black" clothes.  Of course, when I approach they are skittish, but finally I coax them back to the barn with the feed bucket.  Once inside the barn, the momma snuck out...back to the pasture it was for us....chasing for a few minutes until I threatened to make jerky out of her (kidding, vegans, kidding.)  They are all penned up and ready for the night, meanwhile, I in my muddy boots retired for the evening. 

(disclaimer: this is NOT one of the "girls"; just some random online sheep image)

 

Later that week I was telling my grandpa the story and acting out my shenanigans.  He shared with me that sheep don't see well in the dark and that's typically why we close them up at dusk.  I never realized that the sheep not coming into the barn that night wasn't because they wanted to stay in the cold wet pasture and be stubborn, it's because they couldn't see...they were scared.  I've thought about that connection to me; about how my rut could be attributed to my fear.  The analogy of sheep and shepherding is used many times in God's word.  I've always related to it, but never fully understood until we started dealing with the "girls".  I started to make the correlation between myself and the "girls" - how even though God has something really good for me in store at the barn (because His word promises this), I won't move, can't move because I am scared to death.  Scared/worried of the future, the plans I have for myself and our family...scared to walk through darkness to get to the reward.  I guess at times we're all like the "girls"; feeling like it's safer in the darkness because we can't see the barn; feeling like there may not be any food if we do get to the barn and I imagine God like me in that situation - frustrated and annoyed that we won't be led by His voice to receive the reward!

So, I'm getting out of the funk.  Gonna walk through the pasture (and trust me there's more to step in than darkness in the pasture) and get to the barn.  Going to trust the voice of God leading me to the reward.  Won't you join me?