Thankful

As you can well imagine the excitement of Analie arriving in 3 days has really set in. Everywhere we look, Phil and I dream of how life will be with her, and how we have a chance again to see the fruition of our joy made complete in our child. Of course, around this time last week, some anxiety started to set in. Reality of recalling the birth of Marshall - joyous, zealous, exuberant - and then, tragedy... what's to come when you harbor such pain?
Really, throughout the pregnancy in whole, I think I have done pretty dang good holding it together. I mean, I see how someone could really drive themselves crazy worrying about all the things that "could" be. But, you never forget the scar that's on your heart.
Much to my enlightenment I opened a new book I received from my mother-in-law and read the most soul settling passage - I think it was meant for me. I haven't even made it past this page in the book because I keep returning to it - as a reminder and encouragement.
The excerpt from "Hugs for New Moms" by Stephanie Howard reads:

I'll bless you and multiply your family, keeping My covenant of love with you.
Don't let anxiety steal your joy; rather, tell Me about your worries and needs and thank Me in advance.
As you pray, you'll find that My incomparable peace overshadows all of your problems and insecurities.
Always be content with what you have, knowing that I'll never leave you or abandon you.
I'll supply everything you need, according to My endless riches in glory.
Faithfully providing, Your Prince of Peace
Deut 7:12-13; John 16:33; Phil 4:6-7; Hebrews 13:5; Phil 4:19

When I read this, tears of release flooded my face. It was exactly what the Lord needed to tell me. "My incomparable peace" - how true to me this is.

Oh, My God - let me know this joy You promise. Let Your glory be revealed through restoration. And, Lord, let me never cease to praise You for the blessings You will pour out.

I thought she meant "scheduled" delivery?!?

Well - another weekly visit down. Glad to say everything is normal and going well. I started realizing just how close we are to having Analie in our arms today. Next week, the doctor is going to put me on the monitor (you know, the ones they strap on your belly). This is normal procedure - she will be checking the baby's heart rate, fluid level, any contractions, dilation, etc., etc. Based on those readings, she might actually decide to do the C-Section before the 16th! Here, all this time, I've been planning and list-making and juggling a perfectly planned calendar up to September 16th, and now, I am realizing she could come earlier?! I guess in my mind I was just thinking she would pop out like a perfectly roasted turkey on September 16th - and she still may - but there is the ever lingering possibility I will meet my angel next week! I am laughing at myself thinking of how crazy it must sound to create a "countdown" schedule of things to do before Analie is born. I need structure people - lol - lists make the world go round! I am so very excited - yet, reserved with anticipation.

Can I just brag for a moment - bear with me - Phil is amazing! He has gone into "daddy" mode the past few weeks. Every night he is doing something productive - mowing the grass, washing the dishes, folding the clothes, running my bath, picking out a perfectly matched outfit to sport on the town (ok, that was a little exaggeration! - lol). Phil has even resorted to sleeping on an air mattress on the floor in our room - he didn't want to sleep in the guest bed in case I needed him (aww). But really, I am truly so thankful to share my life with him. He is the love of my life - I don't know where I would be without him, without his support, and without his love. Philip Brown - thank God for who he has made you to be. I love you so much. Plus, you make pretty kids!