We had a great check-up last Thursday. I talked in detail with my doctor about how Analie will be cared for when she's in the nursery. Things will be good - my doctor is looking out for us. Analie will basically have the NICU staff watching over her, but she will be in the regular nursery. Good news for a mom who never wants to see a NICU again!
My doc also set the date - our princess is scheduled to arrive on September 16, 2009 at 9am. I can hardly bear the anticipation.
People - I'm struggling lately. Some kind of mix between pregnancy hormones, sorrow and joy, past and future, and all that's in between. I feel like my mind is churning constantly - I lose it sometimes and just have to break down. I'm not going crazy again, nor depression, I just feel...what's the word...exhausted. Physically, um, somewhat, but more than that, my mind is tired, my heart is heavy, my eyes are sore from fighting tears and my emotions weary from quenching fears. What is this season? I don't feel like me.
A stroke of paranoia has invaded my excitement. I guess the anticipation of Analie coming, also means dealing with so much that has settled. Dust is being kicked up from the low low places - places that you don't want to go. Who would think that choosing a new pediatrician would be a chance to conquer? Most people just get to pick and it's done. Who in the world even thinks about getting life insurance for your infant child because you fear what could be? No one does that.
It's not right - this is so not right.
Done - before things come out that I would regret writing.
2 comments:
I can't even begin to put myself in your shoes, but just know you have so many people here supporting you. I can't wait to see you with your little princess... You're going to be a great Mommy! Love you guys & gal :)
John 14:1 Jesus said, "Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me."
2Cor. 12:9 Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
God has walked through every step with you. Don't allow Satan to take the victory from you. You have been a very strong with your eyes on Jesus. You are a fabulous mother who cares for her children. God is a Great Father who wants to carry your burdens.
We love you and thank God Philip has you.
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