Wow, I have missed blogging, but have been spending time relishing in the glorious joy of our precious Analie. It's hard to believe that already one month has flown by - she was one month old on Friday! We've had such a good time, of course, yes, there is the typical newborn stress, and me being the over-anxious anti-chaotic person that I am - I have managed to squeak through the eye of the needle without having a nervous breakdown. LOL In all reality though, I feel so blessed. I feel so "alive" again - it's daunting to realize that I have been in a fog for the last 22 months - I've been veiled. Today I truly grasped what it means to be joyous again. Even though the anticipated 9 months before Analie's arrival were exciting, I still had a depression lingering over me wondering if history would repeat itself - praise God it hasn't. And really, I mean PRAISE GOD for what He has given me - for the ability for me to have joy again - I can exhale. Not that my pain is gone, believe me, it lingers, especially when little miss gives me one of those "Marshall" looks (they look so much alike) - but, it's almost as though....I don't know...I can't describe it....just feels good...great...blissful...I feel like it's okay to be happy again. Sobbing as I say that with mixed tears. How can someone hurt so bad, yet feel so alive and flourish in the richness of joy? One of The Creator's mysteries, I guess. So today I will just soak up this happiness, I will enjoy this gift - not just the gift of Analie and the sanity she has brought us, but the gift that I know there is healing, there is happiness, there is HOPE!