The NEW Normal

This is a serious one - I have warned you! :)

Heard a new phrase today that I thought was spoken with such wise and true words. A great family Phil and I have shared our lives with lost their 16 year old son and brother a little over one month ago. It truly was a devastating phone call for Phil to receive and we both wept deeply about it.

Understanding all too well some of the feelings the family must be having lately, I think the one thing I try hard to avoid is offering "advice". Somehow that's what people think you need, but really, you just need a listening ear who will hear your cries, comfort your anger in silence, and catch you when your knees are weak beneath you.

Today, the brother posted his struggles. Although many heart-felt comments poured in, one comment in particular just gave me chills. It was from the boys' mom and reads below:

"It's the grief process, it's not because we are not doing something right, it's going to hurt, it's going to make us sad, mad, and then you figure out your new normal. Are we there yet? NO! But we will get there. I love you."

I was so touched by these words of comfort from a mother to her son. I can only imagine the pain she too must also be suffering, but yet offered these words as a picture of strength and grace. One phrase jumped out at me...a phrase that's I have been trying to find the words for sometime now..."New Normal". I never thought about it that way, but it's so true! I recall many people telling me often that "one day things would get back to normal" that it would "get easier"...but I really don't think either of those statements are true. You never get your old normal back, and it never gets easier...you just learn how to better live with your NEW NORMAL.

My NEW NORMAL has taken some time to settle into, but like this mother above encourages her son, "we will get there".

Thank you to this family and I love you all deeply!